Love and Honor Each Other

Q: Is Ladylike providing tacit approval for sexual abuse in a marriage when it includes this in a list of 6^th Commandment sins:

 

“You are too tired or too headachy or unwilling-for-some-other-dodgy-reason to satisfy your husband’s marital appetite” (p 174). 

 

 

 

 

A: That line from the 6^th commandment essay drives at the sin described in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 which says, 

 

“The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

 

For a man or a woman to deprive a spouse of conjugal rights chronically and outside of agreed-upon terms should not happen according to Scripture. Another important feature of this passage is its description of the giving of one’s own body to another. This is applied to both husbands and wives. This passage explains how prolonged, willful deprivation of one of the gifts of marriage is contrary to God’s good design of it. 

 

LadyLike encourages wives in particular to honor their husbands. LadyLike supports the Lutheran explanation of the 6^th Commandment. “Husband and wife, love and honor each other” (from Luther’s Small Catechism, quoted in LadyLike on p. 171). Abuse is contrary to the loving and honoring to which we are called in marriage. 

 

LadyLike does not approve (tacitly or otherwise) of abuse of any kind. LadyLike plainly names abuse a sin and firmly calls for repentance.  The following excerpt is taken directly from the book in the essay “Submission Impossible” (p. 49):

 

"What about men who abuse their wives -- emotionally or even physically -- and use 'submission' as their justification?'

 

It's sin. Remember, Christ is the example. Does He emotionally or physically abuse His Bride, the Church?

"No."

Of course not. Now obviously we are not perfect as He is. The world is full of sinners. Human spouses sin. Very sadly, some sin in ways like emotional and physical abuse, and some twist the Word of God to justify their sinful actions. These are terrible things that should not happen. They should be repented of and stopped.

 

How does LadyLike view abuse? It’s sin. It’s terrible. It should be stopped.